When I was 20 years old, I was ready to take my own life.
Little did I know then it would be the pivot point for fulfilling my life’s work now.
There’s nothing worse than feeling like you don’t matter or don’t have anything to offer.
Or that you have untapped gifts and potential to share but have no idea how to get it OUT.
Or that you’re not finding joy in the work you’re currently doing and don’t know how to do something different.
I understand because I’ve been there… and it’s painful.
As strange as it may sound, when I was in college, I was gifted with the opportunity to choose whether I wanted to keep my life or not.
I now believe it happened because, for years prior to that point, I was constantly ignoring myself – ignoring my heart and soul’s deepest desires. Consequently, I was in and out of the hospital for a number of issues — stomach problems, knee surgeries, anxiety attacks, sleeplessness, severe depression and a neurological voice disorder called Spasmodic Dysphonia or SD.
I was literally falling apart physically and emotionally but I was too proud to ask for help. My way of coping was to just keep pushing through and pretending to be strong… but that came at a tremendous price.
At age 20, I was a pole vaulter for the Stanford University’s track team. One afternoon, I went to my coaches’ office to talk and watch training video. About halfway through our meeting, I felt a sharp pain on the left side of my chest, and I fell to the floor. The consensus was that I was having a heart attack so two of my coaches rushed me to the ER.
After the EKG and getting settled in a room, a doctor came in to speak with me. He proceeded to ask me a number of questions and towards the end he asked,
“Donell, have you ever thought about or tried to harm yourself?”
No one had ever asked me that before, but in a weird way, my heart and soul deeply appreciated the question because they had been screaming out for help for years.
As he looked at me in silence, there was a long pause. Then, I quietly nodded.
“Wow. I’m really struggling,” I thought. All of a sudden it was like this huge sense of relief had come over me. Someone had acknowledged my pain but, more importantly, I had finally acknowledged my own pain. I had never been able to do that before… mainly because I was too afraid to look at the truth.
After some time and another series of questions, he asked me one question that changed the course of my life. He asked,
“Would you like to stay here for a few days?”
I knew he didn’t mean the emergency room.
I gently nodded again, and in that moment, I made the decision to live. I made the decision to find new hope.
How does this relate to my work as a Life Maximizer?
When you’ve consciously considered taking your own life and chosen life, you realize how difficult life can be when you don’t feel good within, but you also realize that life is precious life. You relate to life differently and you begin to consciously create a new life because you now see the power in every moment.
In the years since that pivot point, I’ve grown intentionally. I have successfully combined my education from Stanford University with my work and training as a professional actor in the SF Bay Area with my training as a Peer Health Educator and NASM Certified Personal Trainer with my life experience as it was touched by cancer through my mom as a Certified Cancer Journey Coach to become a Life Maximizer. Because that’s what it’s all about…
You and I are here to make the most of what we’ve been given in every way. You’re here because you know there is some part of your life that could be bigger and shine brighter. And I’m here to make that as easy and effortless as possible for you.
I am blessed and humbled by the opportunity to be in your world. Even more, I am celebrating that you are choosing to maximize your life and your light!